Starting in the Basement

SLEEP

It has been 2 weeks and 1 day since baby Camille was born.  Everyday we get a little more confident, and everyday she sleeps a little less.  The pediatrician said that the first 2 weeks they are in a newborn stupor and sleep a lot but then they start to wake up.  I have been tracking her sleeping and eating on an iPhone app (I know, I know, nerd alert!) and she was sleeping 18 hours a day and is now sleeping about 15 hours.  You would think that means Frenchie and I would get plenty of sleep but somehow it does not work like that.  I guess because we have to do other things like eat, post pictures on the internet and update our families on her progress.  Oh yeah, and Frenchie works too!  While I do like to track my child’s sleep, I have found from my bouts of insomnia that the worst thing you can do is actually keep track of how much you sleep.  It just makes you more tired, angry and resentful.  So instead we sleep when we sleep and if I am tired during the day I try to take a nap when Camille is napping.  So far, I am tired, but not crazy tired.

AWAKE

Now for her awake time.  She spends a lot of that fussing and crying.  Maybe she is frustrated because she can’t see colors, or more than 8 inches in front of her.  That does sound a little boring!  We try to entertain her by reading to her in multiple languages and exposing her to lots of different music.  These things also seem to annoy her but hopefully she will eventually enjoy them.   I am looking forward to when she is more interested in toys and playing.  But I also don’t want her to grow up too fast!  Ackk!

HEALTH

Camille had her two week appointment today and she is doing great.  She was 5 lbs, 15 oz. at birth, 5 lbs, 7 oz. at discharge, and today she is 6 lbs, 5 oz!  Apparently any questions I had about breastfeeding were unnecessary because it is obviously working just fine.  Her cord stump (ew) has still not fallen off so we have to give it a little TLC and she has diaper rash!   The diaper changing area in our apartment is very dark so we didn’t even notice.  The nurse assured us that we are not bad parents but I am still not so sure.

GEAR

Have you heard of a “push gift“?  While we did not call it that, I received an awesome gift after Camille was born.  I had been coveting a crazy stroller for months and we decided to finally go for it.  Isn’t it cute?

CUTENESS

Sponge bath time!

“You’re complete.  Let’s have a baby!”

I was happy to hear this but also kind of annoyed because, come on, I feel like the baby is about to slide out of me, of course I am complete and WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN CRAZY DIANNE THE MIDWIFE?

Anyway, at this point I was completely numb and could just barely feel when I was having a contraction but they wanted to do a practice push right away.  I could feel a tiny bit on my right side when the contraction started so I went with that feeling and the nurse felt my abdomen to see when I was contracting.  I tried pushing and everybody looked at me like, “really? that’s all you got?”  The nurse looks at me and says, “bear down like you are pooping” so I tried again.  She said it was a little better and I said I was worried I was actually pooping.  The nurse told me that everybody poops while delivering so just go!  I laughed and the next contraction I apparently pushed much better.

Well, what I did not know at this point was that the baby had not been tolerating the contractions since my water broke. Probably because it happened quickly and she dropped down too fast.  So everybody was getting really excited about my pushing and trying to get me to do this as quickly as possible.  Between contractions they made me lie on my side so I started to get the sense that something was wrong but I wasn’t really worried.  I actually felt very calm and I knew everything was going to be ok.  They also gave me oxygen at this point to help.  I continued to push with the contractions and they all said I was doing great but there were some murmurs of an episiotomy to get her out faster.  Then all of the sudden a doctor came in and said that I was pushing great but for a first baby it can take a couple hours to push out a baby and they did not think she had that much time.  I was so scared she was going to say c-section but instead she mentioned the vacuum.  I didn’t think that sounded so much better but I looked at Frenchie and he said “let’s do it”.  We were both expecting that I would be pushing for a while so it was strange to know that she was now going to be out in a matter of minutes!

While they were setting up for the vacuum I continued to push through contractions and at one point they told Frenchie to look down and see her head.  He did and said he saw hair!  He looked so excited and kept yelling at me to push it out because I think we were both hoping I could do it now before the vacuum arrived.  A different doctor arrived and said that she was going to be doing the vacuum extraction and she was sorry she hadn’t been around before.  I had no idea what she was talking about but just got ready to go.

All of the sudden there were like 15 people in the room because they have to call the pediatrician’s for a vacuum procedure and then a bunch of nurses came in, maybe because they were bored.   They told me that I would not be able to hold her right away because the pediatrician’s had to check her out.  That is when I realized I still had my bra on and I needed to get it off because I wanted to do skin to skin as soon as possible.  The nurse sort of laughed at me and said maybe we should worry about your bra later.

The doctor then put the vacuum in place and during the next contraction told me to push.  I pushed once and her head slipped out right away.  Frenchie said it was very smooth!  I pushed one more time and her body came out.  The doctor stuck her right on my belly and said, “hold your baby.”  I grabbed onto the slippery little girl and started crying.  She was already screaming.  The doctor cut the cord and then they had to hand her off to the pediatrician’s to get checked out.  Luckily somebody asked if dad wanted to get a camera because we had totally forgotten about taking pictures!  They checked her out and she looked great.  She got a 8 and 9 on her APGAR.  The midwife said it was the smoothest vacuum procedure she had ever seen.  The doctor came over to talk to me and I asked her what her name was and she said Dr. Barren, which I thought was sort of hilarious.  She was born at 5:07 AM on March 20, 2011.

They brought in the scale and told Frenchie to get the camera ready.  They told him that it would first measure in grams so not to be alarmed.  He said, “that’s ok.  Grams are my unit.”  The midwife thought this was the best thing she had heard all night.  They were all cracking up!  She was 2700 grams, or 5 lbs, 15 oz.  A little peanut!  I finally got to hold her and sort of did some skin to skin which is all the rage.  After they finished stitching me up and doing whatever it is they do “down there” I got to try breastfeeding which worked pretty well.  The shift was changing at 7 AM so they decided not to transfer us to recovery until the new shift came in.  Well that ended up being quite a long wait!  Frenchie started pacing the room telling me how tired and hungry  he was.  I was like, “you are tired??”  Anyway, finally a Rosie O’Donnell look alike came and took us upstairs to our recovery room where we ordered everything off the cafeteria menu.  That egg sandwich tasted so good even though it was a nasty cafeteria bagel and egg sandwich.  Nothing stops my hunger.

We had the baby at the Brigham and Woman’s Hospital and even with the few annoyances of the day (mostly waiting around) I thought the care was amazing.  I have never been in the hospital before and I was so impressed with the nurses.  They have a really hard job and I personally would never want to do it but I felt so lucky that I had such great care.  They really seemed to care and listen to all of our stupid questions and made sure I was not in any pain.  Well, as much as they could.

So that is the story as I remember it.  Frenchie’s impression is probably a little different but either way, we were really happy with how everything worked out.

I always wondered how women who had just given birth have the time or energy to write down with excrutiating detail the story of how it all went down.  Now I understand.  First, you do not want to forget anything.  Second, it is so overwhelming that your brain can barely handle it and it keeps running through your mind on repeat for the first couple days so maybe if you write it down it will stop!  So here goes nothing…

My last post was written the morning of the induction.  We arrived at the hospital just on time and were given our wristbands to go to triage.  My midwife had said that we would likely be given a room right away so I thought triage would move quickly.  The midwife on duty at that time came in and checked me and decided I was not very dilated and she did not want to start pitocin until I had progressed further.  She gave me cytotec which is a small pill they put on your cervix to help it soften.  After monitoring the baby and me for an hour we were sent off to have lunch and come back at 4.  We walked down to one of my favorite lunch places, Penguin Pizza, and had some beer and pizza and then wandered around Harvard Medical School for a bit.  I was feeling crampy, but that was about it at this point.  We came back and they checked me again.  I had progressed a little bit but not enough so I got another dose and we were sent on our way.  This time we decided to go home to watch and movie and eat dinner.  It was so strange to come back home when we were sure the next time we came home we would have a baby!  But it was nice to rest at home for a bit knowing that when we went back we would for sure be having a baby.

At home I bounced on my yoga ball to try to get things moving and by the time we got back to the hospital I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes.  They were not very strong, but they were there.  The midwife had said that if I had not progressed enough the next drug was cervidil which took 12 hours!!  The shift had changed at the hospital so we met a new midwife whose theme for the night was keeping us waiting.  Since I was having contractions she luckily could not give me cervidil and the only option was going straight for the pitocin.  Finally we were admitted to labor and delivery and we settled in for a pitocin IV.   This was at 10:45 pm.  This was my first time having an IV and I was not a fan.  I am fine with needles but I did not like being stuck to a pole!  Our labor and delivery nurse, Deb, was awesome.  I was so happy we got a non-annoying nurse!  She put the monitors on as well and I was stuck in bed, waiting for something to happen.

After a little while the contractions started to get more annoying and I decided I wanted to get up and walk around.  The floor is a square so we could walk around and around.  I was hooked up to a telometry machine so they could continue to monitor the heartbeat and we were off.  Deb had told us that all the nurses were bored because there was not much going on that night, despite the supermoon, and that we were the only ones on the floor.  Well, they surely were.  There were a million nurses just hanging out, eating and laughing as we walked the halls over and over.  At one point we weren’t sure which way to go and we were allowed to open one of the doors so we walked through.  Then we realized that we couldn’t get back!  We looked around and there was nobody there.  I had a sudden flash of Cyril delivering the baby in the hallway but we finally got somebody’s attention and they let us back through.

I was still able to walk through the contractions so Deb kept running after me and turning up the pitocin.  When we got back to the room the contractions really started to pick up.  I definitely did not want to sit or lie down so I just stood around and Frenchie read to me for a while.  We also turned some music on in the room and I was actually singing along during the contractions as a distraction.  Things started to blur a little here.  The contractions were strong and about 2 minutes apart.  Deb brought in the birthing ball and I spent some time leaning against it on the bed, sitting on it and leaning against the bed with Frenchie rubbing my back.  These contractions were ALL  in my back.  Basically like somebody was crushing my lower back.  Around this point I asked Deb when the midwife was going to come and check on my progress.  She was super vague and made it sound like I would probably have to wait quite a while before things really started to happen.  The contractions were coming more often now and because I felt like this was going to go on for many more hours I thought the epidural sounded pretty good.  As soon as I made that decision, my nurse went on break and mean nurse came in.  I don’t think she was really mean, I just wanted nothing to do with her.  I had put the birthing ball on the bed and was leaning against it during contractions and the nurse looked at me funny and asked if I wanted to sit on the ball and lean against the bed.  I was like, “no, I already did that, I want to do this!” and she said she had never seen anybody do that before.  Um, ok, well leave me alone because that is how I want to do it lady!  Anyway, I didn’t want to ask her about the epidural so I waited for my nurse to come back.

Deb finally came back and asked me about my pain level.  All night I had been really conservative because I did not know how bad the pain was going to get but now I was ready to concede that the pain was approaching 8 and I was ready for the drugs.  She said she would call them and my midwife would check my progress after the epidural because it would be less painful.  That was around 2:30am I think.

The anesthesiologist did not arrive until around 3:30 and that hour was intense.  I couldn’t get comfortable anywhere and I did not want Frenchie to touch me during contractions, only in between.  He was doing great and was not annoying at all.  Not that I expected him to be.  ; )  I finally crawled on the bed with the back sitting straight up and leaned over the edge.  I was totally in the zone at this point.  Not talking, not opening my eyes and I started sweating and feeling nauseous.  I remembered reading about transition and how the woman would start sweating so I thought I might be getting pretty far along but since I hadn’t been checked at all since I was admitted at 3 cm, I really had no idea.

Deb said I would need to sit still on the edge of the bed when the anesthesiologist arrived and she had to hook me back up to the machines.  Finally he got there and this part was incredibly intense.  I was feeling the contractions more in my pelvis now and I had to sit with my back arched to place the epidural.  I had to sit very still and that was incredibly difficult.  Frenchie sat in front of me and held me hand and I was pretty sure I was crushing him.  The epidural did not hurt at all but it seemed to take him forever to put it in!  My head was hanging down and my neck really started to hurt.  Finally he got it in and I asked if I could raise my head.  When I did I cracked my neck and Deb for some reason thought this was hilarious.   Some of you may be familiar with my neck cracks and they can be pretty intense, but I don’t know why she thought that was so funny!  Oh, I forgot to mention that the anesthesiologist was super cute and was wearing the same Dansko’s as me.  His name was Andrew and he kept thanking us.  For what, I don’t know, but he was sweet and cute and he saw my naked butt.

After the epidural was placed they said it would take 15 minutes for it to take effect so the next few contractions were still going to be bad.  Well, as I turned to lie down my water broke!  Deb was so excited and went to page the midwife again (who still was not there!!).  The next contraction was horrible.  I felt an insanely intense pressure and pain in my pelvis and I really wanted to push!  I remember making some pretty primal noises at this point and I started shaking a bit.  I kept looking at the clock to see when the epidural was going to kick in.   The anesthesiologist was still in the room and said that the epidural would only help with the pain and not the pressure so they kept asking me if I was feeling pain or pressure.  For some reason I couldn’t really tell.  It was just insanely intense.  But finally I couldn’t feel my left side very much but was still feeling a lot of pain on my right so Deb gave me another dose of the drug and I started to feel a little less.  I still knew when I was having a contraction but it didn’t hurt.

Eventually the midwife came back from her long vacation and checked me.  She looked at me surprised and said, “you’re complete!  Let’s have a baby!”

This is getting really long so I am going to leave you in suspense and finish later.  It gets more exciting from here and it ends with this.

I have so much to update here!  Another awesome baby shower, Flour coffee cake, and, in a few hours, a new baby.

I went to my 39 week appointment on Thursday and my blood pressure was elevated.  My blood pressure has been up and down the whole pregnancy so I was not that worried.  Also, it was a beautiful springy day so I had decided to walk to the doctor’s office about 30 minutes away.  By the time I got there I was tired and sweaty so I told them to wait a bit and then take the blood pressure again.  They let me lie down in the dark for 20 minutes, came back, and it was still high.  : (  They took some labs and stuck me on the fetal monitor to see if everything was going well.  I had told my midwife that I was really sick of my work maternity clothes and was really looking forward to not having to wear those anymore.  Well, she consulted with the doctor and came in and said that I no longer had to be annoyed about work because I was no longer going.  I was put on “bedrest” but not strict bedrest.  More like, don’t stress yourself out and stay at home, rest.  I went home, informed work that I was on maternity leave and started to plan all the things I was going to do until I went into labor.

Fast forward to Friday.  I spent all morning answering emails and dealing with work stuff so by lunch time I was exhausted.  I decided to walk very slowly down the street for a sandwich because it was a beautiful day in Boston.  When I got home I settled on the back porch with my sandwich and my book and the phone rang. It was my midwife.  Apparently my labs came back high and they were slightly concerned that I was (am) developing preeclampsia.  Oh, I forgot to mention that I have been having cramping and contractions all week and when she checked me I was already 3 cm dilated!  So, since I am basically in early labor, and my labs are getting worse, they decided an induction was in order for today (Saturday, March 19th) at 10:30am.  Well, at that point I think I blacked out a little.  I mean, I knew that at the end of this at some point I would be in the hospital having a baby but somehow I was not quite prepared.

I instantly took myself off of bedrest and started furiously cleaning the house and setting up the crib etc.  I called Frenchie who proceeded to tell me he was in a meeting and would call me back.  Doesn’t he realize I am FREAKING OUT?!  It was probably for the best because I did freak out for about an hour and then finally calmed down and got excited.  After he got home and we did some prep we decided to go grab some Italian takeout because I needed to carbo load before the big day.  As I was eating my meat lasagna I started having painful contractions every 5 minutes.  Commence freak out #2 of the day.  I was hoping to go into labor on my own to avoid the induction medicine but all of the sudden it became really important to me that we not have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night.  All the panicking probably made the contractions worse so I went to lie down in the dark to see if they would stop.  Eventually I fell asleep and they slowed down.  I did not sleep much last night but it looks like we are still on for going to the hospital at 10:30 this morning.

Wish me luck!

My book club threw a book club/baby shower yesterday for me and I have one word.  Food!  It was amazing.  The host made brioche au chocolat, mushroom and fontina quiche, broccoli cheddar quiche, fruit salad, sunshine punch, sugar brioche thingies (can’t remember their name), deviled eggs and carrot cake.  It was a pregnant lady’s heaven.

I took the picture a little too soon here, the quiche and eggs had not yet arrived…

Presents!

Cake!

I cannot take a good picture these days.  I wish I knew how to photoshop my second chin out of pictures.

Our book club book was Room: A Novel.  The book is about a young woman who was kidnapped when she was 19 and locked in a small room.   After a couple years she has a baby and the story is told when the child is 5 years old.  The book is narrated by the 5 year old, which may be annoying for some.  Before reading it I knew some people had strong opinions about it one way or the other so I was expecting to have a stronger reaction.  My reaction was just “ehh.”  I liked it because it was hard to put down and I read it in a day and a half, but I was also a little disappointed by its cheesiness.  I think it is worth reading though if you are into that sort of thing.  If you read Room, what did you think of it??

After the party I had some very long and slightly painful contractions and then a subsequent panic attack.  I was not panicking about going into labor, I have accepted that fact, but I realized WE ARE NOT READY!  Of course as soon as they stopped you would think that would spur me into action to finish everything but not so much.  Why am I such a procrastinator?!?!

Let’s talk about names.   Frenchie’s nickname for the baby is petit choux which translates to little cabbage or maybe little pastry.  I am not sure which choux/chou he is referring to.  He speaks to my belly only in French which is adorable except that I am pretty sure he is just telling her that I am crazy.  Which is sort of true.  The hormones have been out of control again.  More like the 1st trimester.  I am ANGRY and ANNOYED and at times, deliriously happy, but mostly the first two.  So while it true that the little cabbage has a crazy mother, I am not sure we need to be telling her that already, even if it is said in French.

Back to names.  I think we have settled on a first name unless she comes out looking like someone completely different.  The middle name is more difficult.  I like middle names that have some meaning but the women in our lives who mean something do not have names that “go” with the first name we have chosen.  So we have just stopped talking about it.  Last night Frenchie brought it up and I thought we were going to talk about it and then he started talking about the amount of cheese in the mac and cheese I made and the name conversation was forgotten. I am a little afraid we are going to be in the hospital with nothing and I am probably going to freak out.  Naming a new human being is a lot of pressure!

Other exciting news is that we bought a dresser to put a changing pad on and I am feeling a little more settled.  We got the red dresser below from Ikea which in real life looks much more red than in this picture.

We put the dresser together yesterday with minimal drama and today I started to organize all the stuff.  Yah for nesting!

We had what we thought was our last ultrasound last Wednesday to check the little cabbage’s size.  She is apparently on the small size so we get one more ultrasound in a week to see if she is growing well.  More pictures!

Me and cabbage at 36 weeks.

Sorry about the horrible picture of my belly.  Frenchie is out of town and I don’t know how to use his fancy camera.

For the last few weeks I have been window shopping “regular” clothes.  I am looking at fashion blogs and taking mental notes of cute clothes around me.  Maternity clothes have not been kind to me.  I did not want to spend a lot of money on cute things that were not practical so I just ended up with the basics and I am BORED.

I walked into Anthropologie the other day and saw the dress below and fell in love.  Obviously I will need to lose about 100 pounds before this dress is even a possibility, but a girl can dream, right?

I was also watching some movie (I can’t remember which one) and the main actress (who I also can’t remember) was wearing these great outfits with linen trouser pants like these.

I have also been wanting some casual clothes for my maternity leave.  I am looking for some shoes that are comfortable, good for spring and pushing a stroller.  Something like these maybe?

I have also been on the lookout for a new hoodie.  My favorite hoodie was bleached by a certain Frenchman and he owes me a new one.  I am thinking of really milking this for a lululemon hoodie.  Are they really as nice as they look?  I mean $100 for a sweatshirt?  But they are so cute!

I technically should still be able to buy shoes and accessories but I guess I feel like I need to be spending money on baby crap right now and not presents for me.  However, I saw Katherine Heigl, who I think is beautiful, although not a great actress, with black drop earrings and they looked so good with her blond hair.  I love these:

But I would never spend that much on earrings.  I also like these:

Maybe these are actually realistic:

I have never had an urge to own a leather jacket until I walked into All Saints Spitalfields and suddenly I saw a way cooler version of myself with a leather jacket and maybe even a leather skirt (not together).   I am also hoping to take up kickboxing after I can work out again and I think the leather jacket will help with my new tough kickboxing mommy persona.

Maybe some of my desire to have a new look comes from the fact that I’m turning 30 in about a month!  Hopefully my body will cooperate and bounce back after this baby.  I’m still young, right?   Until then, our money will be well spent on baby essentials and I can’t wait!

They were right.  The first trimester you are really tired, like can’t keep your eyes open during movies and meetings.  Third trimester you are really tired, but in a more physical way.  It is difficult to get up from a seated position and hard to stand for a long time.  One of the hard parts of that is that THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO!  For example, right now I really need to be sorting through clothes to get rid of stuff, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry and going to the grocery store.  Instead, I am lounging on the couch willing Frenchie to do some of these things because my feet are tired from cooking all morning.  Despite my exhaustion I am still cooking as much as I can because 1) I like it, and 2) I am hungry.

Some of my successful recent recipes include cassoulet with kielbasa and pork ribs (loosely based on the linked recipe), challah, chicken pot pie, chili con carne with buttermilk biscuits, peanut noodles (the sauce is really good but decrease the amount of oil and use twice as many noodles, or keep some sauce for a second meal), homemade pizza, and a lemon curd tart with olive oil served with frozen lime cream.  Less successful recipes have included beef with broccoli, chocolate pudding, 7 layer dip, and Asian salmon (oh my gosh the SALT!).  They can’t all be winners.

Oh, I also ripped off The Cheesecake Factory banana cheesecake to bring to work and it was amazing.  I used vanilla Jo-Jos for the crust.  If you like banana cheesecake, find an excuse to make this.  It was very easy to make and delicious.

Tonight Frenchie is making a special Valentine’s Day meal for me to go with my lemon curd tart.  I am hoping to also make a provencal vegetable soup with pistou this week to make it through a couple days and I really want to try this eggplant gratin.

After looking at this list I am starting to be less confused about how I managed to gain about 10 pounds in a month.  Time to start looking at some lighter recipes for post birth freezer meals!

The weather out here in Boston has been awful for the past few weeks.  We had a big snow storm last week. 

This morning it was snowing pretty hard but then it eventually turned to rain which made a horrible slushy mess.  Unfortunately a lot of the neighbors did not do a good job clearing all the ice last week so the sidewalks were ice covered with snow.  As I was walking to my unnecessary doctor’s appointment (blood pressure has been a little high so they keep watching it but doing nothing), I made it about a block from my house before my feet slipped out from under me and I fell flat on my back.  BTW, there were about three people in the vicinity who obviously saw me and nobody said a word.  I love Boston.   Anyway, I felt fine but I was happy that I was on my way to the doctor so they could reassure me that everything was really fine.

At first the doctor said I would have to go to the hospital for four hour monitoring and I was not so happy.  Then she asked for a second opinion and decided that they could just monitor me for half an hour in the office, especially since I fell on my back and not my belly.  Half an hour somehow turned into 2 hours with a break for lunch because (I think) their monitor was not working correctly.

The good news is everything seems fine.  I came home instead of going to work and rested.  Considering I did not work yesterday and basically rested all day I did not think more resting was really going to work for me.  Apparently the baby had a different idea because of course I fell asleep.  I am really taking that advice about getting sleep now to heart!

Anyway, this post is really boring.  Basically I am getting a bit bored of resting and watching TV but I can’t seem to get motivated to do anything else!  And now I feel like I can’t really leave the house because it is always icy and snowy and I do not want to fall again.  Boo.

It seems like one of the exciting parts about having a baby is decorating its room.  Since we do not exactly have a room yet (we are moving to a bigger apartment in June) there will not be too much decorating.  There are a few essentials that we need though, like a dresser/changing table and a rocking chair.  OK, need might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but strongly want for sure.  We have a couple decorations, including this giraffe painting that my awesome coworker made.

And these cool ivy letters from my baby shower.

We have a portable crib we are borrowing.

I am hoping to find either a used changing table from Craigslist or just a regular dresser that we like and add a changing top to it.  As for the rocking chair, I am torn.  The nursery gliders sold in baby stores are sort of ugly but look comfortable.  Frenchie thinks a regular wooden rocking chair will work just fine.  We do not really have room for either but probably a wooden chair would fit better so I think we will hit up some used furniture stores to find one.

Here is a picture of the room.  

Imagine the crib and changing table where the empty bookcase and large chair are.  A rocking chair will go in the hallway with maybe a lamp and little table.

It’s going to be crowded for a couple months!!